Thursday, August 13, 2009

It's Thursday 13th August 2009 and in just 7 days, it will be yet another regular day?

Today is a relatively bad day for me. Today is the day that I truly realize that I give myself TOO MUCH STRESS, AS IN, OVERWHELMING STRESS!


I can still remember how slack I was and contented when I got 9 points as my raw score for my "O" levels even though it is considered mediocre in my school. Now that I'm in SAJC, I just constantly stress myself to be at a "high standard" in terms of studies and compromise basically everything that follows. Just taking a look at myself and I realise that I suck with my classmates, and I'm indifferent about it.


I got invited to this Talent Management Talk next Tuesday and I realised that it was our class' top 10 who got invited. I mean it was so obvious, Bao Bao followed by Grace followed by Tricia and so on. Now I know I was ranked number 9 out of 21 in my class for Common Test. I had a little chat with my mum a few minutes back and she finally broke it to me that I am indeed "going crazy" with this competition system. I mean, even I have to admit than my less stressful, regular studying back before MSA 1 was more efficient that my way of operating right now. Common Test is a different story, as I went to Bugis Junction thrice a week to play the arcade and neglect my studies, therefore achieving a mediocre 66 rank points, but now as I am in the midst of MSA 2, I just simply give myself enough stress to spur myself to study to achieve the best alphabet in the world. Given the mounting pressure of my 4H2s and Project Work Commitment and my slack nature, ALOT OF STRESS MUST BE INDUCED UPON MYSELF. Am I really that stupid?



I mean, who doesn't want to have photographic memory for Biology? The only way to achieve that is to revise everyday, and if I want to accomplish the feat of scoring A for Finals Biology I have to do so. Do I have enough self-discipline to do that?


I am going to say it here and never mention it again: It sucks to be the guy that has currently done the best so far for studies in 09S20. I need the competition to spur me on within my class itself as it will reduce the stress I need to induce upon myself. Look at Benjamin from 09S19, he totally owned his class with 78 rank points. Call me an asshole, but that's how I operate.


Posting this up has seriously made me feel better. Maths and Chinese MSA2 tomorrow, may go see a Chinese doctor after school as well. Seeya guys!
I posted at 10:47 PM